ChRISTmas day...

so...this morning was the very first Christmas that I've woken up NOT looking forward to opening presents!! =/ i don't know why! but we just finished opening them and it was nice. it was enjoyable like every other year! i think I'm just older and concentrate more on Jesus' birth than anything else. well, that and being thankful for family! :)
Merry Christmas everyone! and don't forget to keep CHRIST as the center of EVERYTHING!!!
much love,
Tori <3

MERRY CHRISTmas!!!!!!!!

FrIeNdS

YUP!!....throughout this year i have met some pretty amazing people and made some really good friends!! i love everyone that i've met!! i cant wait to get to know these people more and to see how God uses us in each others lives!!!
Thank you God for blessing me with such AMAZING friends!!!

anthena

This morning i went downstairs to find one of the mice have gone to the Lord. it was sad. but its not like we didnt see it coming. =/ my mom and i wrapped her in cloth that had clouds and stars on it. (thought it was an appropriate pattern for the occasion.) we then buried her outside by the garage door. the only thing that came to my mind was "i hope the dogs next door dont dig her up!!"

Athena. she was a good little mouse! we love you!

Christmas break!!!!....?!

What?!...its that time?!?! again?!?! really?!? WOW.
It feels like just last night that i was giving my last tight hugs and ringing out my last stream of tears with my good ol Arizona brothers and sisters!! and now. its that time of year...again! can you believe it?! i seriously can not believe that i've lived in Tennessee for an entire year already!!! wow. HA! wow. time sure does fly by!!
anyways, enough with the shock. hi! its 2010 of December on a cold late friday night of the 17th! ;) i just got home from (one of the) best nights of my life!! haha. tonight was the 5th annual Franklin Classical Coffee House!!! it.was.uh-mazing! i have never been SO blown away by pure God given talent in my life!!! CONGRATS to EVERYONE!!! :)
Well...i'm still in utter shock that its been a year since the bitter sweet move and that this year is almost over and that means that i'm one step closer to being a SENIOR!!! Ahhh! kind of a scary thought if you ask me. ha.
So with a deep heavy sigh i am going to bid you all a sweet dreams and goodnight!
keep it real! <3
+0r!

what have you been up to?!?!

Well...if you must know...i have been EXTREMELY BUSY for the past....ever since school started! haha. it has been nothing but non-stop craziness but all very fun!! lets see...volleyball, school, and church have been the main events in my life for the past few months! Volleyball has been an UH-MAZING experience!! (Note-to-self: do not play next year or else you will be literally drowning in school work!) haha.
Anyways, i am SOOOO glad that i get to FINALLY sit down and update this after SO long!! Ok! here is just a quick overview of my life so far:
-school
-homework
-volleyball
-sleep
-school
-volleyball
-homework
-church
-school
-homework
-homework
-homework
-volleyball
-volleyball
-volleyball
-volleyball
volleyball
-school
-sleep
.....and uhhhh...oh yeah!
-SCHOOL, HOMEWORK and VOLLEYBALL!!!!!!!!!!

hahahaha its pretty awesome! ;]

our volleyball tournament is just around the corner! AH! i cannot wait!! THAT will be a VERRRY eventful week!...and i'm looking forward to it!! haha.

As far as school goes...i've made ALOT of really nice, funny, and good friends!! its been mind-blowing to see how God has been working in not only mine but my family's lives!! The friends are GREAT and the weather (overall) has been juuuust right! :]

whatt?! boys?! any crushes?! hmmmmm.....maybe just a few! haha. but i have been doing a pretty good job of not making that a huge distraction. ;]

Spiritual life?....its been well! very very well! i have found myself reading the Bible ALLLOOOTTT more than i think i have ever have!! which is awesome! and i have been talking to God ALOT more than i have in a long time! i love it! God has been doing some pretty incredible things in my life in these past few weeks! i cannot wait to see what he does throughout the rest of this year!!

well...thats pretty much my "life update" for ya in a nut shell! hope you've enjoyed it! haha.

volleyball...

all i have to say about volleyball is..."sweat is beautiful!!" haha thats it.

living in my family....(from my P.O.V)

living in my family is...crazy. calm. quiet. funny. interesting. sometimes boring. sometimes a blast. loving. caring. God centered. Christian. close. free to be. typical.

ok....i am going to tell you guys what its like to live in my family...from my point of view...

Being me, as i am, and living in my family can be somewhat of a verbal battle. its hard for me to be heard. most of the time. i either have to wait until i'm with one person, until its dead quiet, oorrr just repeat myself over and over until someone finally hears me. haha (the last one is fun!) I've always been the quieter one in the pack. i tend to think more. i tend to think ahead of myself and ahead of others thoughts. i've lived in my family long enough to anticipate their answers. its pretty cool! ;) so, therefore i usually don't say much without thinking through how to put it, for the sake of not getting an 100 page lecture about one minor thing. haha my life, both mentally and physically is a huge checkers board game. ( at least that's how i like to look at it.) i love my family to death!!! they are AMAZING! everything that i could ever ask for in a family!! we are sooooOOOOOO close! its so cool! buuut as a teenage girl...i also need some space. alot. of. space. haha which i get a good share of at the end of the day! :) so its all good! <3

good times with good friends

my 4th of july weekend!!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!!!

love alive

THE END.

the time is coming....when He will return...are you ready?

"invisible walls"

invisible walls,

some can see them, some can't
some can melt them, some can build them
some can see through them, to the heart
then there's those who can tear them apart
...some can touch them, then again some can't bare to think about them
...some can lean up against them, then again some can simply knock them over
everyone has one, no matter who you are.
everyone has come across someone with one.
...these "invisible walls" can be mended, and some can be destroyed
...these "invisible walls" can be cared about and thought about from others
...i have an "invisible wall"
some people i've met have knocked a few bricks off
some on the other hand have successfully built it even higher than before
some have melted it down to nothing,
then there's some who have tried.
everyone is in charge of their own "invisible wall"
im in charge of mine.
don't let others control how high or how low your wall goes.

love alive

J.O.Y- "Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men, but from doing something worthwhile."








this past week i helped out in a camp with some friends from my church and school. i've always wanted to get involved in missions but never had a chance to go on any of the trips. i got a pretty good taste for what missions are like at this camp! it was loads of fun and my heart grew 10 times within those four simple days! each and every child touched my heart in a certain way!....so far thats bee the highlight of my summer! <3 God's love was definitely shown!!

photography!!!

YAYYYY!!!!! itss finally summer!!!! W00T W00T!!!!! ahahaha that means i have more time to go outside and take fun and creative pictures of people, places and things!!! :))) can't wait to get started!! :o

just a thought...

this morning my mom and i were in the car and my mom was telling me about my first birthday party! haha (like everything else i have no idea how we got on that subject) ha! anyways, she was saying how she meant to buy a small cake just for me, almost the size of a cup cake, but instead she got a big full circle cake! unfortunately my dad was painfully ill and my brother wasn't born yet so it was just me my mom and dog! haha
she was telling me how what i did when she first set the cake down in front of me. i looked at it, then took my finger and cautiously touched it leaving just a tiny bit on the very tip of my finger, then i licked it. it was good! next i took my finger again and this time i swiped it leaving a little more icing on the tip of my finger and licked it. yummm! :) pretty soon i was grabbing chunks out of the cake and stuffing my face with it! haha and cake pieces were everywhere!
that simple story hit me. thats kind of what i'm going through now. (except now i'll eat pretty much anything that is sweet!) ha! but with all jokes aside...i'm at that point where i'm taking my "finger" and cautiously touching the cake. i've already moved. so we can check off the setting down of the cake, but now i'm right in the middle of looking at it and observing it all around and cautiously touching it with the tip of my finger. :)
call me crazy or weird but that thought just crossed my mind today! :))

what we've been up to lately....

...hmmmm...i'd have to say by the looks of these pictures...that we've been...pretty busy dodging lights, being transparent and writing in the air! hahaha (for more of these awesomely awesome wildly wild and out righteously out righteous pictures go to my profile on FACEBOOK and go to my photos and enjoy!)

volleyball!!!!!

WHOA! finally! i can proudly announce that volleyball camp is NEXT MONDAY!!!!! i am sooo stinkin excited!!....with a hint of scared! ;) but i know everything will be just fine!! :)

now...all thats left on the physical list is dance! we shall see how that goes! haha

stories in squares

this is such a great story! this man went to my church a long time ago! he left around the time i moved there. he was our worship leader and well known artists! i admire him so much! he shares the story about his close friends, the johnsons. sean johnson and his wife cate knew they wanted to adopt from the start. they heard about Haiti, went down a few times, met these three amazingly amazing girls and absolutely fell in love!! i hope you guys like it! i loved it!

<3 Xox






http://www.youtube.com/ArtistSteveHickok#p/a/u/0/9dle6bqbSF0

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NEW BLOG!!!!!!!

hey!
i just finished creating my new blog! but don't worry, i'll continue to keep this one up too! :) check it out and enjoy!


http://toristhoughtsandexpressions.blogspot.com/

(copy and paste)

one of my fav. things about being home schooled

i went into home schooling with closed eyes and a hard heart not knowing what to expect and not knowing that i'd get to spend many precious moments with my mommy!!...

yesterday, my mom and i had a fun time at lunch! we were watching a music lecture and eating. in the lecture, the guy wanted you to dance to the rhythm. i didn't. lets just say i got to have my lunch and a little entertainment thanks to my funny and cute mom! haha watching her (attempting) to dance was like watching a 4 year old dance while watching the wiggles! it was so cute and soooo funny! we had lots of laughs that day!

today, my mom and i went for a stroll down baby lane! she was going through some of her old old journals and reading some of them out loud to me. one entry that we stopped on was the processes of adopting moi! haha it was sooo funny to read and very cool to think back on! :) i found out, while reading, that my name options were either claire, caliegh, elizabeth or victoria. hahaha we read from the time my parents sent in their paper work all the way up to when they first held me in their arms! :) ah yes! good times!

i'm really going to miss not hanging out with my mom during the day. i'll be attending a brick and mortar school next year and will have a whole new academic life, during the day. i'm looking forward to going, but it will be weird waking up knowing that i won't be spending the whole day with my mommy! :(

beauty....

Look! isn't it just breath taking?!?! i LOVE it!

before i moved to Tennessee i never really thought to stop and look at God's amazing craftsmanship of the lovely desert! (even though its hot, dry, dusty, hot, hot and very hot....it doesn't seem to be the one thing that consumes your mind when your living there!) your too busy with your own life. whats going on that day. all the unnecessary "drama", home work, school, after school activities, friends.

i found this picture today and i just had to stop what i was doing and just stare at it for a good 5 minutes and think back to all the fun memories that i formed hiking with family and friends! ah yes! the good 'ol days!...then i looked out my window and though about my new life here. ah yes! its going to be...interesting! (haha) i can't wait to see what God has planned for me and my family!...Why we moved? i have no idea. but we're here.

now, as a look out the window its semi-gray, half blue sky,far off, and of course lots and lots of green...pretty much everywhere you look!! i also see the road that we take every time we leave the house. its very...curvy! :) sometimes its fun to drive on, others not so much. ;) but the main thought that comes to my mind when i look out at that road is "every time we turn that corner...we are leaving with an unpredicted future." and every time we come back, we have a new memory. thats so cool!

which brings me back to this picture above. there are soooo many different types of cactus' in Arizona, my personal favorite the saguaro! every time one grows up and grows new "arms" something new and fascinating happens that very same day! the sun goes up. the sun sets. yet those cactus' are always there. continuing to grow and spread its arms! :))

music wishlist....

as some of you may know, i LOVE music! its pretty much the....3rd thing that keeps me going, besides, of course, Jesus Christ and the love of my family!! :)
Music is my free time muse! haha (as some of my friends call it)
I put together a music wish list of songs that i really want to buy on itunes! (the list will continue to grow for sure!) but here are all the songs that i've found so far...

-britt nicole "walk on water"
-casting crowns "until the whole world hears"
-googoo dolls "iris"
-fine frenzy "near to you"
-mia "paper planes"
-kris allen "live like your dieing"
-justin beiber "baby"
-sara grooves "you are wonderful"
-relient k "must have done something right"
-meiko "boys with girlfriends"
-corrine bailey rae "put your records on"
-paramore "crush, crush, crush"
-graduation song [friends forever]
-snow patrol "set the fire on the third bar"
-"bleedin love"
-"i can only imagine"

Sunday night....

Lots of laughs, fears and tears. but we got through it! Thank you God for putting these AMAZINGLY AMAZING girls in my life!!! :)

<3 loved <3

driving...*sigh*

well, after many ruthless visits to the horrid DMV my mom and i were finally able to get what we needed!....my mom got her TN license and i finally got my TN permit! :) Yayy!!....now for the real challenge....getting out on the main roads without yelling at one another in the car! -__- *sigh* but like everything...its going to be a work in progress! haha we shall see!

lots of mental strength and prayer is needed! haha

" Jesus take the wheel!"

<3 anxious <3

My Blog is my "Thought Filter"

There are a few things you must know about...moi!

1) i LOVE to write!!

2) i LOVE to serve!!

3) i enjoy giving!!

4) i enjoy dancing like a crazy person every once in a while!

and last but certainly NOT least...

5) i'm always, always thinking!!

Thinking is probably the 2nd main thing that i'm doing. (from the outside i may seem quiet, shy, and maybe even alittle boring at times!....) but thats because i'm constantly thinking!! Sometimes all the thinking over powers my head and my mouth goes on snooze mode.

but being quiet was already covered in an earlier entry! haha

THINKING. QUESTIONS.

All kids are full of questions! each of them being very important to them in their own way! As you get older your thinking grows deeper, more critical, and much more serious. Some people joke around about having a "dumb" or "stupid" question...well, i don't believe in such a thing! ha! i will admit though, that some people tend to ask relatively "obvious" questions. So, instead of saying i have a "stupid" question, i like to go about saying i have an "obvious" question. Because if you really THINK about it...."stupid" questions are, for the most part, obvious! haha almost 99% of the time peoples "stupid" questions are easily answered! am i right?! ;)

So, i've been thinking....and i came up with a bunch of questions!...here are a few of them:

statement- In Leviticus 23:3 it says "Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day is a Sabbath of SOLEMN REST, a holy convocation. You shall do NO WORK. it is a Sabbath to the Lord in all your dwelling places."

my question- How do we apply this verse to modern day society?? How do we obey this the "right" way?? If there is such a thing. Are we sinning if we go out to eat after church? Or if we are doing school projects?? hmmmmm?....

statement- In Leviticus 24:17-22 it says "Whoever takes a human life shall surely be put to death. Whoever takes an animal's life shall make it good, life for life. If anyone injures his neighbor, as he has done it shall be done to him, fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth; whatever injury he has given a person shall be given to him. Whoever kills a person shall be put to death."

my question- well, first of all....intense! i know! but thats coming straight out of the Bible itself! So my Q is, once again, how do we apply all that to the modern world?? When someone kills someone they either go to jail for a long time or depending on how bad the case was, they may get the electric chair!....is THAT Biblical???? hmmmm?....

statement- In Leviticus 25:35-38 it says "If your brother becomes poor and can not maintain himself with you, you shall support him as though he were a stranger and a sojourner, and he shall live with you. Take no interest from him or profit, but fear your God, that your brother may live beside you. You shall not lend him your money at interest, nor give him your food for profit. I am the Lord you God, who brought you our of the land of Egypt to give you the land of Canaan, and to be your God."

my question- Annnd for the last time...how do we apply THIS to our daily lives??? In this crazy, messed up, deformed, mad, mad, mad, modern world....there are a hand full of people out there lending a hand! Who are actually doing something about this huge mess! then there are those...who could care less...they're just sitting there, in their homes, in their pj's, watching their "grass"....aka...their lives, their opportunities, their world slooooowly crumble up by the big mean bullies also commonly called our government take over and rule the "playground".
...but i'm talking about the ones who are helping out, supporting the discouraged, lending a loving, helping hand to the poor and needy....

I guess there is not really one way of doing something. There's really no "good and perfect" way of going about following the Bible. I've been having major mental battles go on in my small skull for the past week about these verses! and still am! ugggh!!.....theres not really ONE answer....is there?? i don't know! does anyone truly know!? I'm pretty sure not one person living on this crazy, mad, deformed world can give me or anyone with similar questions the "right" answer to these.

but it would be nice to see what you guys THINK! :)

<3 super confused <3

random thoughts for the day.....

"America is like a modern day Israel.

I hate going to the DMV.

I wonder what my future holds???

I love God.

why does everything have to be so complicated?!

just do it.
Sarah Palin is a modern day Esther.

i miss AZ.

this summer is going to rock!

i'm so pumped for this Sunday!

i love the new friends i've met here so far!

so much to do in so little time.
i'm going to run again tonight!

i really wana do a photo shoot with a friend!

you can do it!

time. it comes and goes.

God is amazing!"

continued vision....

A long time ago....i prayed for God to show me, or at least give me a hint, to why he was having me move. i closed my eyes and i listened. then, out of nowhere....this picture came into my head! it was as clear as clear can get!!! In my little vision i saw me, in a dance room, with a bunch of little girls! then i opened my eyes and thought "so your having me move because you want me to be a dance teacher??" then a bright flash came across my window! and i closed my eyes again! this time i saw the same little girls in the dance room with me....but i noticed something that i didn't in my last "vision". i saw hearing aids in the girls ears! and i saw their faces! it hit me!!!....God wanted me to see this!!!...I wasn't only teaching a class of 5-6 yr old girls dance, but i was teaching a class of special needs and deaf 5-6 yr old girls dance!!! i opened my eyes...."wow"..."really?"..."me?!"..."you obviously picked the wrong girl for that job!" but God NEVER picks the wrong people for anything. once that thought entered my head i was in total shock. how am I....a 16 year old girl....supposed to teach a group of 5-6 yr old downs/deaf girls?!? i'm too busy!....but then again...."ALL things are possible through Jesus Christ" :)
So today i had that same exact "vision" :p (my 3rd time may i add) haha sooooo i'm breaking it down. making up moves...and holding Gods hand...tight!
please pray for me as I try to figure out what exactly God wants me to do with those girls.

<3 confused <3

all i want is one simple card!!!!!

Ok, so....today my mom and i went to the DMV (for the 2nd time) full of hope that i would finally get my permit here!! I've been slowly starting to boil with the government. -__- Ughh!

Well, lets back up to the first time my mom and i went. We had my birth certificate, school attendence, and a bunch of other important paper work all ready to show the people.....found out that they are a lot stricter than they are in AZ! MAN! i tell ya! Anyways, the guy told us (in his sluggish ways) "im....sorry....we can't take this...we need more paper work...uggg....yeah....so...yeah...please come back with that and you should be able to get your permit then...." So my mom and i left smiling...ticked....but smiling and said "ok! we'll be back"

* a few weeks later *

Today my mom, brother and i walked in with all the paper work. (they wanted paper work showing that i'm actually attending A school. :p laaaaammmeeee! but whatever! SO we showed the lady EVERYTHING that the guy told us to bring. (now, unfortuneately i was kind of expecting this....but) the lady said "im sorry...this isn't enough we need to see another form showing that you are an actual resident of the U.S.) or something stupid like that. -__- soooo once again my mom and i walked out smiling...super ticked off now...but still smiling and said "ok! we'll be back! :)

Walking out i was throwing an absolute temper tantrum in my head!!! DUDE?!?! WHAT IS THE DEAL?!?!?! my adoption process went faster than this!!!! all i want is a simple platic card with my picture and information on it saying that i'm legal to drive on the roads with an adult (or someone over 18)!!! is that too much to ask?!?! Buuuut...what can ya do? its just all so...DUMB! :p

~upset~

one of my many LOVES

Some of you may not know this about me....one of my many loves are making jewelry! I've made pretty much everything from threaded friendship bracelets to metal earrings! I enjoy making fun funky necklaces too! Its a fun "free time" activity! :)


2 FLIP FLOPS~ i LOVE being able to walk outside and not have to worry about tying shoes! flip flops are much more easier! ;)

2 KEYS~ i went to a co - op called KEYS it was the best co- op i've ever been involved in!! thats made a huge impact on my life!

the "SISTERS" charm~ this charm stands for my lovely core group!! i LOVE them sooo much!! they really mean the world to me!....it also stands for all my "gf's" in general!...hehe

KITTY charm~ i. LOVE. hello kitty.

SUN~ i hate the cold! i LOVE the warmth!

the HEART~ Jesus is the center of my life!

Locks Of Love

(before)






(after)

"Over You" by Chris Daughtry

"Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you."

Last Song & The Blind Side

...my 2 favorite movies!!!.....so far....

"i learned from you" -miley cyrus

I didn't wanna listen to what you were sayin'
I thought that I knew all I need to know
I didn't realize that somewhere inside me
I knew you were right but I couldn't say so

I can take care of myself, yeah, you taught me well

I learned from you that I do not crumble
I learned that strength is something you choose
All of the reasons to keep on believin'
There's no question, that's a lesson, that I learned from you


We always don't agree on
What is the best way
To get to the place that we're going from here
But I can really trust you, and give you the distance,
to make your decisions without any fear


I'm grateful for all of the times
You opened my eyes

I learned from you that I do not crumble
I learned that strength is something you choose
All of the reasons to keep on believin',
There's no question, that's a lesson
I learned from you


You taught me to stand on my own
and I thank you for that


It saved me, it made me,
and now that I'm looking back

I can say

woooaaahhhh!

Hmmmm... Hmmmm... Yeah!

I learned from you that

I learned from you


I do not crumble
I learned that strength is something you choose

something you choose


All of the reasons to keep on believin',

keep on believin'

There's no question, that's a lesson that I learned from you


Woooaaahhhh!
I learned from yoooouuu

I learned that strength is something you choose
something you choose


All of the reasons to keep on believin',
There's no question, that's a lesson that I learned from you

yeah!

I learned from you

pretty rainbow!!!!

this week.....

hmmm....what did i do this week???
they say a picture is worth 1,000 words....so...here ya go!

"when i look at you" -by miley cyrus

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy...

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When I look At You I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars Hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I Know I'm Not Alone.

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like Kaleidoscope colors that
Cover Me, All I need every
Breath that I breathe don't you know
You're beautiful...

Yea Yea Yea

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you
I look at you

Yea Yea Oh OH OH

And you appear Just like a dream
To me.

....this song has been stuck in my head all day! haha

its about TIME

just give me time, cause thats all i need.
just give me time, cause thats all i want.
just give me time, and i'll start to bloom.
just give me time, and i'll slowly start to share.
just give me time, and i'll show you my story.
its all about time, all you have to do is give it to me,
and i'll give you a lot more!!

my besties and my best buds!

to all you girls out there....I LOVE YOU!!!! :)

but to all you guys out there....YOU GUYS ROCK!!! :)

i always seem to find myself sitting alone.......with a bunch of guys. (my second life story) but i'm totally cool with it! i may not say alot but i think if i WAS the more talkative type i would have so much more to contribute in a guys convo than a girls! haha i don't know...it always just turns out that way!
now, there are a few things that i absolutely hate about being a girl!....but i wouldn't trade any of them in for anything! :) i LOVE being a girl!! and what i LOVE even more about being a girl is....being able to have both really close GIRLfriends and really close GUYfriends!! i don't think i could live one week without hanging out or talking to my best guy-friend!! i enjoy hanging out with both genders but if i had to spend a day with one of them....i'd probably pick a guys football or basketball team! haha
another thing that i've been known for, between my guy and girl friends has been...i'm a good match maker! hahaha one "up" side of having both genders as besties is...you know who likes who! i can't tell you how many times i've had a best guy friend crushing on one of my best girl friends!....with me stuck in the middle knowing that they like each other and both of them not knowing. haha

the bottom line to this little story is.....i think....if a girl is really easy going and laid back they'll have a lot of close friends from both genders and each relationship will be very speacial in their own way!!! :)

<3 buds with all <3

facial expressions!

facial expressions are very key in my family. we tend to feed off of each others facial expressions! sometimes its great because you don't have to say anything! yet other times it can be misleading and taken wrong. like today for example.
my mom, brother and i were at mc donalds having a very late lunch and we had just gone grocery shopping and we had three things of ice cream in the car. (now, the weather is starting to warm up....yay! so it wasn't cool in the car.) i "sucked" up my food like a vaccume then my mom finished which left alex. (i'm always waiting for him to finish eating) ANYWAYS.....i guess my facial expression looked like "im bored" or something....so alex said "mom tori's giving me the teenage bored look again!" when REALLY what i was trying to express was "hurry up! theres so much we gotta do in so little time!!" but i didn't want to be rude. haha
*note-to-self* be careful of how your face looks and your body possition is...because people really do take that to heart. :)

giving directions

my parents giving directions:

"ok so you go straight down this road and right on this road then stay on that road until you come to this road and this number on the highway, then you just keep going on the numbered road and finally you turn left on this road."


me giving directions:

"ok so you go down a road with a bunch of trees and a lot of grass...then you keep going down that road until you see a mc donalds on your left...then turn right after you do that stay on that road then youll see a big gray building with broken windows....then you should be there....i think..."

yUp! this is why you dont want to ask me for directions!!! haha you'll proabaly end up in wonderland!! :o

my typical car ride convos with my mom go something like this....

MOM: so...wha wha wha wha wha wha...i don't know maybe im wrong wha wha wha wha i don't know what do you think??

ME: yUp! cool! totally!

MOM: ok good because wha wha wha wha wha wha and wha wha wha!

ME: oh yeah i totally know what your saying! thats a great idea!..YUP!

MOM: PHEW! so anyways i wha wha wha wha wha wha wha...what do you think about that?

(MY THOUGHTS): hmmmm....i think you should BE QUIET AND TURN UP THE MUSIC!!!...pls?!
ME: i think your right! :)

gotta love car rides! and i really do LOVE riding in the car with mi madre!! but after a while this is all a start to hear. :p

photo shoots with friends!!!

"Live like We're Dying" - Kris Allen

"Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's too late, it's not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you, what would you wish you would've done

[Chorus]
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying

And if you plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbyes
Should be so careful who we live out of our lives
So when we long for absolution, there'll be no one on the line

Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying

Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dyingYou never know a good thing until it's gone
You never see a crash until it's head on
All these people right when we're dead wrong,
You never know a good thing till it's gone

Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying

Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying"

In Thy Wrath and Hot Displeasure

"Dark - ness gath -er, foes as - sail me, but I an - awer not a word; all my friends de -sert and fail me, on -ly thou my cry hast heard. Lord in thee am I con -fid -ing;
thou wilt an - swer when I call, lest my foes, the good de -rid - ing, tri -umph in thy ser - vant's fall.

I am prone to halt and stum -ble, grief and sor -row dwell with- in, shame and guilt my spir - it humble; I am sor - ry for my sin. Lord, my God, do not forsake me, let me know that thou art near, un - der thy pro - tec - tion take me, as my Sav - ior now ap -pear." (vrs.2 & 3)

These words really spoke to me this morning in church!.....Just thought I'd share it with you guys! :)

~going through the motions~

"This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions" - Matthew West




I am going through the motions! I'm starting all over again....in some ways. Today i woke up not feeling like much of anything. I just wanted to sleep in and stay in my pj's all day and watch TV!! :p buuut no. i had to get up, get dressed, get ready for the day, do school, then go to the school for another interview! When i first walked in i wasn't in a happy mood whatsoever! My mom wanted me to wear a super small coat that is about 3-4 yrs old!! -_- so not cool! and on top of that i felt like i was sticking out like a sore thumb in my "business clothes" even my friend told me that i looked like i was going to a job interview! haha i was like "i know right!?!" hahaha

anyways....as i was (awkwardly) standing there in the hallway with my parents and all the kids at the school the first thought that came to my head was....RUuuuun!!! :o then i looked up and saw my friend! her face was so bright and her eyes were full of pure joy!! and it gave me an overall warm feeling inside!! it calmed me. :) she came up and gave me a big hug! (which was very unexpected by the way but THANKS!) just that little smile and hug boosted my energy level by 100 volts!! She's so nice and sweet and i cant wait to get to know her and my other friend more!!!

it felt different....in a good/awkward way going into my interview today. it felt good because i knew people and saw alot of familiar faces!! but at the same time it was somewhat awkward for me because i've seen pretty much all the faces before at least once from somewhere. either it be school games or church! but i still felt like i was on the "outside looking in" :/ the unsure feeling. i know thats a totally normal feeling! and i know that feeling will go away in time! :) i just can't wait for it to!!! haha

<3 anxious <3

"my wish" to all my friends!!

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

stretched and torn

you know that feeling you get when you first wake up and you raise your arms high in the air and you go on up on your tip toes and you stretch loooong and hard so hard that a loud burst comes out of you that you couldn't control?? well, imagine waking up stretching like that then not being able to relax from it. that's exactly how i'm feeling now. i'm stuck on my tip toes with my arms high in the air. i can't get out of the very uncomfortable position.

living in arizona was....awesome!! i LOVED it!! i LOVE all my friends there! i LOVE my church there! i LOVE the memories i have there! and i LOVE the weather there!! i couldn't have asked for a better place to be!!....then God decided to turn my "awesome life" completely upside down and inside out. i moved.

now, i don't have anyone i click with....yet. i don't have a secure place to call home....yet. i don't have any memories that i absolutely love....yet. and i don't feel together.....yet. i feel stretched waaaay out. we're talking across the country way out!!...and somewhere between AZ and here i'm torn. im torn deep. not torn right in half! but torn deep non the less.

my parents love it here!....and i'm sure.....in time....that i will grow to be quite fond of this place too!! :) but every time they "compare & contrast" between life here and our life in AZ...my stretched out body gets torn a little deeper. why? i don't know. its not like they're pointing out certain people in AZ. its not like they're talking smack down on AZ. thats not it AT ALL. they LOVED it there too! its just....i'm not quite sure how to word it...they're just pointing certain things out that they really like about here and sharing it with me. now, please don't get me wrong and think that i don't like to listen to peoples thoughts and ideas...because i LOVE hearing them!!...i guess it just really hurts me inside because i know they're right. and i just don't want to admit it.

you know how your close friends "i love you"?? i LOVE that! :) but there are only SOME that really truly DO! i had a lot of close friends who said that to me. and still do. and i LOVE them!! but i gotta stop and think back....they only said that whenever i did something nice for them or they were really happy. is that good? i know its not bad. but is that a real friend???

this morning my mom told me to hang in there and that i'll meet and make some really close, really deep friends! what does "deep" mean?? because i can make a list of "deep" moments i've had with friends in AZ. i don't know. i guess i'm just super confused about the definition she has in her head of "deep"

i guess what i'm really trying to say is....as i've been thinking about my friends, relations, and memories i had in AZ it hit me that i THINK i miss them physically. i can't really recall off the top of my head why or how i can miss them spiritually or relationally. i don't think i've really truly had one deep, faith-filled, spiritual moment with any of my "close" friends. this pains me to admit this. :( but i can't. is that a bad thing?

i think....well...i know! my parents are right. (they usually always are) but i really truly think that my relationships here are going to be a little more deeper and much more faith-filled!! i can feel it!! :)

<3 its a sandy up hill struggle <3

healing....

im sitting in a sling. its God's hands! then all of a sudden the sling starts moving backwards! as it backs up it hits obstacles but is able to dodge them! i start to get frustrated and begin to walk the other way, fighting against the rubber band. I keep losing. Once i gave up i turned back around and sat in the sling calmly. then...out of no where...the rubber band breaks! my sling was shot! i started flying through the obstacles that had already been dodged going back. my eyes are closed tight!! i'm getting cut and scratched from every direction! it hurts!!!
now....i'm sitting here at my computer in TN healing from all the scratches and cuts i've received. the rubber band has thrown me cross country! :p my heart has finally stopped beating fast! PHEW!....but my bruises are still purple. and whenever i move a certain way they throb! :(
please continue to pray for me and my family. it still doesn't feel like home.
<3 healing <3

Locks Of Love....aka...."LOL"

I've been thinking long and hard over...my hair! haha it may sound totally weird and dumb but 1) im a girl! and 2) i don't just want to cut a bunch of inches off and call it a day....there's way too much hair to do that. ;) then the thought of Locks Of Love popped into my head!! DUDE! i think YES!!! :) i mean if you're going to be cutting off at least 10 inches you might as well donate it to people who would LOVE to have hair!!....I'm sooo excited!! I have the donation form and everything!! now all i have to look up is....cute short hair styles!!! YAY!!!
<3 excited <3

???

today my Sunday school teacher told us that we're slowly dieing....i already knew that, but an interesting question popped into my head right after he said that... "if we're slowly dieing...then why do we call it life?" Hmmmm?? tricky tricky!! haha

....OK!

my life isn't going exactly the way i wanted it to.....
but its OK.
my personal life isn't exactly how i wanted it to go....
but its OK.
i really really miss my AZ friends and i really really want to go back, but i can't..
and that's OK.
i'm letting go of the life i planned for me....
and im Ok.
my driving school is...
just OK.
nothing new has really happened....
and that's OK.
when i first moved here i thought i was going to "die" without my best friends....
but i'll be OK.
when i first broke up with my boyfriend i didn't think i would ever get over it but..
i'm OK.
i learned that God has my whole life in his hands....
and thats OK.
i learned that i have absolute no control of my life...
and thats OK.
i also learned that being just "OK" with things...is...well....OK!

<3 tori <3

drivers ed...

once again im going through the motions. im going to drivers ed class all week this week and at the end of the week im getting my....PERMIT! :o haha personally i could care less about getting my licence at "the time." but doing this 4 day class is going to take foooorrrrreeevvveeeerrr!!! ;p.....oh well! at least i have something to look forward to!! :)) next week my good friends are coming to visit us for 4 days! im so excited!!

<3 tori <3

He's NOT a secrete....

I met an awesome guy a long time ago but didn't get close to him until the 7Th grade. He's always been there for me! He's a GREAT listener and a GREAT supporter! Hes had my back ever since i was born but i didn't realize it until i got older. I LOVE hanging out with him! We talk all the time! :)
I USED to be shy about our new relationship. I didn't want to tell people that he was my friend. I was afraid that people would make fun of me for hanging out with him. Hes not a nerd. yet in alot of places hes not all that popular. He used to be popular though! A lot of people used to like him!.....but, as time went on people started to get busy in their own lives and He started to fade in the shadows! :(
Today....people are starting to miss him....but there are also those who could care less about him...
Hes ALWAYS been around.
Hes my BEST friend.
He's also my Heavenly Father.
He's God.

my new lay out

i "fell in love" with this lay out for a few reasons...

1) i love bright neonish colors

2) my two fav. colors are pink and blue

3) it has musical notes within it

and....

4) because it was on the "new" list!....hehe...i love it! :))

"Letting go" and "Someones watching over me"

"Im letting go of the life i planned for me, and my dreams! I'm losing control of my destiny! it feels like im falling and thats what its like to believe!...so im letting go!"

"I found myself today, Oh I found myself and ran away,.....but something pulled me back, voice of reason i forgot i had! all i know is yesterday is gone, and right now i belong, to this moment to my dreams!!
So i wont give up! No, I won't break down! sooner than it seems life turns around! and i WILL stay strong even if it all goes wrong! When i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe.....someones watching over me!!"

"Stained Glass Masquerade" - Casting Crowns

"Are we happy plastic people, under shiny plastic steeples with walls around our weakness and smiles to hide our pain?"

"When I take a look around everybody seems so strong!"

"So I tuck it all away, like every things OK!"

"Only when no one is watching can we really fall apart"

"Or would it set me free, if i dared to let you see, the truth behind the person that you imagine me to be?"

"If I make 'em all believe it maybe I'll believe it too!"

"Would your arms be open? or would you walk away? or would the Love of Jesus be enough to make stay?!"

.....I LOVE this song!!! :o I couldn't relate to this song any better!!! this has been my heart for a looooong time!!!!!

"the Bridge" ~by tori

"i feel like im in a bright blue and purple bubble!
with nowhere to go! nothing to do except look to YOU! my eyes are tearing up...and my ears begin to plug.
the pressure is on.
i close my eyes and i see him!
i yell his name!!
he looks my way! :)
i tell him to come over!!
he just stands there.
i yell his name again!!
he smiles! :)
i motion for him to come over again!!
he doesn't budge.
i yell his name one last time, this time im crying!!
his smile disappears.
i motion and tell him to come over!!
he turns his back and crosses the Bridge.
now i stand alone. motionless. cold. sad. mad. alone.
i start to cross the bridge but trip!!
i start walking again.
i trip.
again...trip.
i keep tripping on every crack!!
-_- so i give up trying to walk and begin to crawl...
i look up and see him dancing his way down the rest of the path.
i frown.
the game is on.
i stand up but this time im on my tip toes!!
im walking over the cracks!!
i'm being REAL careful NOT to touch the cracks with my big shoes!!
because i've learned that if you go REALLY slow and be careful where you step....you won't fall and hurt yourself. "
<3

Haha! i was half alseep when i wrote this in my journal!! then the next day i read over it and felt like i should share this for some reason...haha!

my "life ball"...

remember palying in the snow? remember having to pick your legs way up almost your head in order to walk through the 10 inch thickness?!....well i do. i also remember making snow men!!..Good times! My favorite part was starting to form the head. The snow would be so thick. I was so small. It took all my energy just to start rolling the snow into a ball!! haha....

I got to thinking about my past life and everything that i've been through and everyone that i've met...i couldn't help but picture a biiiig "snow ball"!!....but instead of calling it a snow ball i like to call it my "life ball." [= This "life ball" was full of holes! It was covered in dirt, almost to the point of total browness! It also had many different sizes of twigs sticking out of it every which way!....incase you can't see the full picture...the holes stand for the times that i've given a small piece of myself or my heart to someone. The dirt stands for all my past sins. And finally the twigs stand for all the different kinds of people i've met! [=

Now, i've moved. my "life ball" has been thrown at the wall and has smashed into the air. When i first moved here i was sad, mad, confused, annoyed, and somewhat depressed. =[ i felt like God was punishing me for all my sins that i've done in AZ...but he sooo wasn't! I felt alone. and unloved. and i hated it!!....buuuut after about a month i realized that being mad at everything and everyone wasn't going anywhere! haha so i decided to take a full step back and "refresh" myself from everything! One night i found my old prayer journal and i read through it. wow! God is truely amazing!! He DOES answer your prayers! =] I couldn't believe that He was with me all the way!!....until i stopped writing...aka....stopped praying. =[ and it hit me that after i stopped writing my life turned around. talk about doing a 180!! lets just say that life happens and you live and learn! but all that ocurred once i stopped talking to God every day and night! =[ So the other night I took the time to write in that journal! [= After i finished writing I went to bed feeling "new" and once i woke up i felt "refreshed"!!
Today i went to church and i talked to a really nice girl! [= I can really see the light in her! She is really nice and caring! I'm looking forward to getting to know her better this year!! When i got home i thanked God for her!...the night before i prayed that God would show his love through someone...and this girl was that someone! [=
now back to my "life ball"....I've picked up the snow and i've started rolling it on the ground!...I feel like i'm 5 again! I'm TRYING....im going to use all my energy to get this new ball formed!!! (If you didn't know this already i'm pretty quiet, and it takes me a long time to get "used" to or comfortable with new people...so this has been quite the challenge getting out there and talking!) but i know i'll get there! Im really excited to see how big this new "life ball" gets!! I can't wait to see my brand new, fresh, pure white ball roll in and out of people's lives and to see people and events "hit" me!! [=

not quite home....

....we're not quite there...yet. We still have boxes packed in the bonus room and there is no art up on the walls. =[ The house still feels....somewhat empty, and my room doesn't feel like....MY room. But like always....it'll all fall in place in good time!! [= (i just want it to be soon) haha! My mom was talking to me this morning about packing EARLY!!! i was thinking "WHAT?!?!" as she started to go on and on about that my heart sank. i cant wait to finally have a schedule down. We're still looking at places to go, things to do, and searching for people to meet. There are a few people on my "get-to-know-better" list!! which i'm excited about!! [=

....so far things are starting off on the "slow" side! I planned to get to know that girl caroline that i mentioned before. i was all ready to get to know her more at lunch today!! i knew what i was going to wear, and i started to write down a few questions that i was going to ask her at lunch!!....buuuuut no. i mentioned in my last post that its been snowing nonstop all weekend and that we were snowed in! we couldn't even go to church!!! =[ well, today my brother and i got off! the news called another 'snow day" on the schools! -_- soooo i get to wait until next week to do everything that i wanted to do TODAY! =p hahah oh wells!!...(plus all the more time to read on in my lovely book!!)

I'll be sure to keep ya updated on the whole "meeting people" thang!! [= like i said a while back...my "life ball" should start rolling any day now!!! hahaha until then...
Peace!
Chow!
Love you!
<3>

everyting in a bottle

"i look outside. its gray and cold. but my heart is warm and full of hope!
as i watch the snow blow by, like kids in a high school hallway, it makes me want to join in and see what the craziness is all about!
the winds are screaming now. but the voice in my head is a soft whisper!
as i work at the kitchen table i hear the crows cackling at each other in madness, it makes me wonder what they are fighting about!
the trees are still bare. but i am covered and warm with my heavy coat on!
as the buds begin to blossom so do i, i'm just as anxious to see the beautiful flowers and leaves along with the many people i'll soon come to meet!
its a crescent moon. my new life is just beginning!
as i open my eyes to a brand new day, i wonder why God put me here....what he wants me to do and say!
now, i look back on my life so far. my rainbow of a life isn't over yet!"

ready...set...ACTION!!

Wow!...when i first woke up this morning it was...fine. there was no snow....then i walked outside and down the hallway to see my brother on his computer! I walked back into my room thinking that i just didnt wake up all the way yet....then i walked back out and he was still sitting there at his desk!! haha i thought to my self as i was walking down the stairs "is it Saturday?!?" haha!
my mom came down at this time and said "good morning!" I asked her "is this Alex's snow day??" I looked outside again and saw the ground. -_- my mom said "yep".....as i was getting breakfast i said to myself "cheap!" hahaha....

now its been snowing for over 3 hours straight!...i stood corrected. haha! There has to be at least 3-4 inches of snow outside! =p its going to be a lazy crazy weekend! -_- BLAH!! Oh well! i have plenty to do!! [= school work, blogging, facebook, school work, dissections, and....oh! school work!! haha...they said that its going to be snowing like this all. weekend. :s (this should be fun)

so far....the days have "brightened" up a great deal! My mom went to a women's night/get together thing with our church last night and came home with so many "small world" stories!! they were great to hear! I've met a few people at my little tutorial that i go to. i met this really nice girl named Caroline! i cant wait to get to know her more! (she reminds me alot of my best friend Caroline in AZ!!) i've also met some girls at church! so there are a few things to be looking forward to now!! [=

"Soaring Prayers" by Tori Woods

"How does man express God's glory and light?
How does he praise God's strength and might?
with glass and stone prayers expressing God's worth,
man created a heavenly city on earth.

The men how they toiled year after year,
masons, carpenters, artists, and engineers,
their passion, patience, persistence, and mirth,
helped them create a heavenly city on earth.

columns, vaults, buttresses, spires and towers,
directed eyes heavenward expressing God's power,
bright painted walls depicting Christ's birth,
were parts of this heavenly city on earth.

sparkling glass windows where stories were told,
to illiterate people making God's story unfold,
the lost received insight, hope and rebirth,
because of this heavenly city on earth.

silver crosses, jeweled boxes, lovingly created,
illuminated manuscripts elaborately decorating,
pilgrims converged from places like Perth,
to this heavenly city on earth.

this treasure of faith and center of life,
in medieval cities teeming with strife,
was a symbol of the church's self worth,
man's creation; his heavenly city on earth."

this was my poem that i had to present to my humanities class today!!!....it went better than i had expected!! haha

old poems made new....

So...
a while back one of my very close friends wrote a touching poem to me....by scratch....it was very good!! (for someone who doesn't write poetry on a daily basis...) hehe....its one of my favorite poems!!!....but like always....life goes on...things happen....and relationships change. But i still wanted to share this poem with you guys!! (i have to change a few words....but they all still mean the same thing!!)

this is for that special person that originally wrote this for me!....


"there is a special friend that i cant stop thinking about,
i love them with all my heart, and to me they are much more than an acquaintance, they are someone that i care alot about and would do anything for,
i loved seeing their face, it would brighten up my days, their smile could lighten up the darkest of rooms, they're very funny and very kind, and i hope we can stay close friends forever and ever! so this is for you....my very good friend whom i love very very much!" [=

2nd semester!!!

Hey!!

Ok, so the second semester has finally started! My home work has been at a minimum as of now and my school work as been the norm!..Lately its been: wake up, get dressed, go down stairs, eat break fast, do family bible study, then start school around 7:30am. Then pick brother up at 2:30pm! It's been pretty chillax during the day! Dad's at work and bro at school all day! So its just the girls running the house! haha (me, mommy, and puppy Sophie) I've been reading A LOT of my book for school! its called "the Talisman." Its an old English book so my mind flies around while i read it...until i've read it over and over at least 3 times i start to understand it! haha its really hard to comprehend!

Friend wise...well, you know how it is! i'm new! i'm just now starting to get out and around...somewhat. I've met the kids in my class and some kids at church..but i haven't really sat down and got engrossed in a "real" conversation yet. Not going to lie...its been really really hard making a "fresh" start when it comes to making new friends. =/ (and being the more quieter type...its been internally stressful!!) I'd be laying in bed imagining the worse cases! (picturing my az friends livin the life! having soooo much fun together!) The other night i had a social night Myer! In my dream I had been at my church in az -visiting- and everything seemed totally normal until all my friends came running up to me yelling my name and giving me hugs!...well...attempting to give me hugs...i could tell it was a dream because whenever they would reach out for my hand or try to hug me...they would go right through me! =[ This morning i told my mom about my dream and she told me that its normal to have those kind of dreams and that i'm simply missing my friends and they are too far to give me hugs. Also the other night i broke down crying when my mom asked me if i was ok. i told her i didn't feel "right". (again...this is normal) -_-

Last week I was looking through the book shelves in the class room and i found a book entitled "a woman after God's own heart" i picked it up. and took it to my room and started reading it. WOW! it really opened my eyes! I began to read the first chapter of the book and it was about mary's sister martha and how she was too busy getting her house all ready for Jesus when all he wanted her to do is sit and be still and talk with him. that was me right there. it really opened my eyes to see that i haven't been "sitting still" and listening to God. I've been so busy moving, unpacking, getting ready for Christmas and then school, and now doing school! That i've totally forgotten about God!! =o *O shnap!* haha...but i've found time at night to talk to God and thank him for everything that he's done. (even though i've cried out "why me?!?" a few times) I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm here. with my family. for a reason. Now all I gotta do is find what that reason is! [= So, please continue to keep not only me but my family in your prayers as we all try to find our own reasons for being here!
Thanks a bunch!
LOVE u all!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
2010

smile! giggle! laugh!....hehehe....

"What would this world be like if people didnt smile or laugh once in a while?"